Turmoil and Despair

This is strange. I look at myself and see the state that I have gotten myself into...neither here nor there.

I am not as successful as I should be, yet by the same measure I am perhaps better off? At least I still have a job and not wandering the streets. How is this possible? Has survival become the main theme nowadays? Just survival and nothing else? What matters then? Has it become a divide between the "have-its" and "have-it-nots"?

This is a similar scenario that many of us face nowadays in a whole new world that is ever changing and evolving. Maybe it is my world-view that has changed. Maybe I am going through some form of growing-up process. Maybe...maybe I think too much...but I do believe that a bit of what I said leans toward Marxist thinkings. Perhaps the product of reading too much Sociology.

On other matters, there is much that I have yet to learn, and I know that I have many flaws too. "No man is perfect"

I sense that for the moment I am like a fish out of water, gasping for every breath. I get impatient and easily angry...I am just frustrated at my "stuck in a rut" scenario!

Looking at this, I guess it will be a long time yet before I can be really at peace with myself. :-(